Advice on how to beat depression?

i am 18 now. I have been living with severe depression since i was 12 or 13. noone knows but ive tried to kill myself several times...the only things that went wrong was that the very last seconds that i was concious i loosened the belt, held pressure to the cut, or decided not to take that last pill. i stopped all this once i was able to get away from my abusive family and have been trying to live life, but for the last 8 months ive been living with friends, going from place to place. noone wants me. noone really cares. im a burden. ive become very depressed again and cant stop the thoughts. i would get help, but i dont want to live threw something that would take away from my future. (if i went to a phychiatrist and he admitted me to a hospital or put me on pills it might cause me trouble down the road with jobs) can anyone give me advice on what to do? im scared of whats going to happen to me and extremely saddened by the fact that noone cares. i want to find someone to help me and love me. i have a little bit of hope left but its fading away every night when i hear my friend and his wife fight over me staying with them.