First lyrics/ poem does this sound any good?

This sounds really good for you first piece. It has numerous interesting ideas and I like the direction you are heading.:) My attention was first caught on your third line though (' I see color...') so I suggest making your first line a bit stronger or start of the song with your third line. I'm a little confused on by the part 'never dancing in the rain' it throws me off. Umm...the last line I suggest reword it a little. Keep writing and good luck can't wait to hear your song on the radio!!! Lol~Good luck!! ^_^